Are Funny Tenants Happy Tenants?

This April Fools, CPE and Kingsley Associates partnered to gather the most comical comments that tenants have about their offices, retail centers and properties.

“Can I petition to let the building manager go home earlier? She is the hardest working girl I know!” —Dallas

“The gaps in the bathroom doors are far too wide, so people have become accustomed to draping toilet paper over the doors for privacy. It’s quite an odd, but necessary, habit. Management can’t complain when we go through toilet paper quicker than they expected!” —San Francisco

“We should all have a beer or glass of wine with the building staff! Seriously, though, they are all great to work with.” —Nashville, Tenn.

“Is there any way we can get an upgrade to the toilet paper? Oddly, we have multiple inquiries on this topic. It is abrasive.” —Austin, Texas

“Please update the bathrooms to self-flushing toilets. We joke that flushing the toilets are like driving a stick shift. You have to find the exact position to get it to work right.” —Boston

“This might seem strange, but the landscaper has planted peppers rather than flowers outside of our office. We would like to see a more traditional look, please.” —Norcross, Ga.

“The temperature in the office is consistently too hot. We spend the majority of our time with the lights off and the blinds closed in order to maintain a slightly more comfortable temperature. Needless to say, this makes meetings and drop-ins very strange and uncomfortable when our office looks like a dark cave.” —Indianapolis

“I only have one complaint. I wouldn’t hate it if the parking fee was lowered. I take that back. You can leave it as is and just not increase it for the next 10 years!” —Los Angeles

“We’d love it if beer was served on the 17th floor! Or any floor for that matter!” —Seattle